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RENO ! After responding to reports of a noisy hotel room, Garcia and Jones find a very patriotic actor and his very lifelike costar. The Reno Sheriff's Department breaks up a huge family fight -- and would be willing to do it again. A stripper cheers up Garcia, but not in the way that the other officers had expected. S1 E Jones and Garcia mediate a fight between an angry mime and a small .
Doctor : Uh, none of the tests required you to disrobe. I'm not sure why you're all sitting here in your underwear. Deputy S. Jones : Dangle was in his underwear when we all got here. Deputy Travis Junior : Yeah, what's the deal, Dangle? Jim Dangle : I don't feel the need to explain myself. Jones : Officers, there are two armed men inside. Deputy James Garcia : I hope there are two-armed men in there. One-armed men wouldn't be able to serve tacos. Jim Dangle : I can't imagine any woman having sex with Garcia. I think it would be really angry, the sex. Jones : You think so?
Jim Dangle : Have you ever heard him in the john? It's like Normandy.
Jones : Ok, let me tell you S: Don't take another motherfucking step. Jones : I've dealt with your damm advances for years now, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it, I'm straight, okay? You ever hear of sexual harassment?
Bizarre beat videos
Ever hear of that? What do you take me for, I'm a punkass? Fuck you man, fuck you! Jones : I can't believe this! I had shit to do today!
Jim Dangle : [crying] I'm just so lonely Jones : Save that shit, save it A new fucking low! Jim Dangle : I just need somebody to help me Jim Dangle : I'm going inside now I'm sorry if I like you. Jones : [pause] Hell, I'll try anything once, I guess. Jones : [to a group of hookers] Hello ladies.
Video: drunk man dances for ohio police at dui stop
Deputy James Garcia : Can we help you tonight? Deputy James Garcia : Dangle? Jim Dangle : Fellas I'm, uh, I'm working vice tonight. Deputy James Garcia : Do you need backup?
Cedric yarbrough: deputy s. jones, drunk cowboy, rufus
Jim Dangle : No, no I'm deep cover. I'm getting a lot of le. Deputy James Garcia : Well, we could back you up.
Jim Dangle : No, no, no, I'm deep cover. I'm getting hot le. Deputy James Garcia : Um Jones : He's working vice. Deputy James Garcia : Yeah, but he's got Friday off.
Jones : Who's you guys best friend in the whole world? Deputy James Garcia : Santa Claus?
Drunk man dances for police at dui stop
Terry : [At an empty baseball field] Hit it! Dammit, now we're losing. Jones : You know who else is losing? Terry : [pauses] Iraq.
Florida woman offers drunken lap dances & more outside bar, gets arrested
Jones : First O. I didn't do anything! Jim Dangle : Here we are, casa de Dangle!
Jones : [pause] What the fuck? Jim Dangle : What do you mean, what the fuck? Jones : Dangle, we only moved, like, 45 feet! You could have done all of this shit yourself! Jim Dangle : I'm sure it's more like feet.
Deputy Clementine Johnson : Yeah Jones : Yeah. Jones : [everyone other than Jones appears to be dead in a shootout] Guys Kenny Rogers : [waking up in his bed] Oh! Oh God! Jim Dangle : [waking up next to Rogers] Whoa! Are you Kenny Rogers? Kenny Rogers : Yeah.
Florida man tased for twerking during rainy traffic stop
Jim Dangle : Are you dreaming this or am I dreaming this? Kenny Rogers : [slaps Dangle] Did that hurt?
Jim Dangle : Not really. Kenny Rogers : Oh God, oh God. Deputy James Garcia : [waking up in the office] Whoa! Jones : Were you having that gayass Kenny Rogers dream again? Deputy Williams : The one you have all the time!
I don't know what the hell you're Jones : [gently] Jimmy Jones : Sir, I will not hesistate to beat your ass with your own shoe!
Jones : [points to himself and Deputy Williams] Why are we on this side of the table and everyone us else over there? Jim Dangle : CPT. Jones : What? Deputy Williams : What? Excuse me? What's CPT? We're the first one's here and take these seats. Jim Dangle : Colored People Time, everyone knows what that means. Jim Dangle : I'm sorry, that was wrong of me to say. I thought you've heard of that before.
It's easy to say and it just, it just came out - CPT. Jones : Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being colored and for being a person and for being on my time. Deputy Travis Junior : Apology accepted, Jones. Jim Dangle : [talking about Garcia's ex-wife] The part I don't understand is that there's a woman who would